Monday November 2nd 2026
John Cooper Clarke (Credit: Jody Hartley)
Written by Local Democracy Reporter, Paul Kelly
Ahead of a performance at Edinburgh’s Queen’s Hall later this month, pioneering punk poet Dr John Cooper Clarke talks ‘superfans’ Van Morrison and Andy Burnham, turning down “quite a purse” to appear on ITV’s I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, finally solving an Elvis mystery and a chance encounter with Edinburgh’s Wattie Buchan from The Exploited at a breakfast bar in Stoke.
On a day off at the mid-way point in a three-month UK tour, iconic Salford performance poet Dr John Cooper Clarke is in a good place.
He’s just released a critically-lauded poetry collection, ‘Have It’, and is basking in his recent emergence as our latest ‘national treasure’, having been awarded the prestigious Northern Music Award and bestowed the Freedom of the City of Salford.
At 77 his razor-sharp wit is in fine fettle and there’s even been much-deserved commercial success, with the Arctic Monkeys’ adaptation of his 1982 poem ‘I Wanna Be Yours’ surpassing four billion streams on Spotify.
He’s happy too with the “uniformly fabulous” response to his tour thus far, which has included a historic stop-over at his favourite theatre, The London Palladium, a venue where many of his musical heroes, including Frank Sinatra, have performed.
Indeed he hinted at a hush-hush Great American Songbook project which could feature a version of the Sinatra classic, ‘Moonlight in Vermont’, to be sung rather than read.
It wouldn’t be a precedent.
Back in 2016 he released ‘This Time It’s Personal’ alongside Hugh Cornwell, on which his vocal pipes were used to impressive effect on classics such as Conway Twitty’s ‘It’s Only Make Believe’ and Ritchie Valens’ ‘Donna’.
He’s not ruling out a reprise.
“Why not? There are still thousands of great songs that I haven’t murdered yet, not in public anyway.
“On this tour everybody goes out with a smile on their faces.
“The London Palladium is not the largest in terms capacity but it is more mythological to a man of my age as the greatest theatre in the world.
“Sunday Night at the London Palladium was the programme of the week in the early days of ITV.”
John compares preparation for the three month tour as a “quasi-military operation”.
“You got to be careful what you eat, things like that. It’s just a amplified version of what I’m like anyway. It’s chaos that frightens me. Spontaneity – what a nightmare.
“To be honest I’ve never drunk much beer. When I came of drinking age, at 15, I never had enough room in my insides for more than a pint of liquid at a time, so it made me a bit of a pussy in the beer world, so I’ve always gone for shorts, so that helps. It’s responsible for a lot of weight gain, beer.
“I don’t do much snacking either. I stick to meal times, I’m like Del Boy out of Only Fools and Horses. I’ve always been like this even when I was a schoolboy, lunch is for wimps.”
The ‘Poet Laureate of Punk’ is performing at The Queen’s Hall in Edinburgh on Friday, November 27, the final night of the tour.
It’s a city he’s become well-acquainted with over the decades.
“I’ve done the Playhouse and The Underbelly at the Festival. I’ve been many times over the years and I guess the most memorable one was when I was there with my wife who was heavy with our daughter at the time, so that must have been 32 years ago.
“It’s a great town and I’ve been back many times over the years. It’s particularly enlivened this time because I ran in to Wattie Buchan out of The Exploited in the breakfast bar of the Hilton Hotel in Stoke.
“I was amazed he was still alive. He looks younger than springtime. I don’t think he’s going to be there in Edinburgh. I gave him the date but he thinks he’s going to be in the States.
“I’ve never run into that guy before and he’s a swell bloke.
“When someone you admire turns out to be a fan that is priceless. I could rattle off a few but modesty forbids.
“But why get into this business if you’re not going to be a name-dropper.
“Van Morrison. ‘Van the Fan’ I call him. He came to a number of my gigs without me knowing about it, he was playing it cool, playing it down and over the last few years we have been quite chummy.
“I was on his eightieth birthday, an evening of poetry and music at Belfast Waterfront last September. It was a great event.
“He was with Jimmy Page and we talked about guitars. What else?”
As for the recent awards and citations, he’s loving the love.
“I love the accolades. I’m happy with carefully considered adulation. Bring it on. Does it come with much of a purse? ‘First I Look at the Purse’ by The Contours is how I look at it.”
As for reality TV, he reveals he was offered – and refused – a nice pay day.
“I have talked myself out of millions by not putting on bets on those shows. Say Big Brother. I predicted the victor on four consecutive Celebrity Big Brothers, when the odds were long.
“The person I pick out is the person who is the most normal, the guy with the regular world view.
“I was right about Bez and right about Jim Davidson. If I’d put a tenner on I would be speaking to you now from a mansion in its own acreage. I’d be pis**ing pure gold. Sadly my bookie moved five miles away and I’m basically an idle person.
“I’ve had an offer from Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. At my time of life, you’re having a laugh aren’t you? I said no even though it was quite a purse. I’d look like s**t after three days and I can’t let that happen in public.”
Another fan is recently-anointed UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham, although John’s careful, like another of his heroes Elvis Presley, to remain politically neutral.
“I met him for about half an hour about five years ago and of course he made me feel like the most important person in the world but of course that’s something they learn in politicking college.
“Angela Rayner the same. They are big fans but I’m not in their pocket.”
Speaking of Elvis, he admits there’s one of The King’s songs that he can’t go to – Old Shep.
“There isn’t a dead dog song in the world that doesn’t stretch your heart to breaking point and with Elvis in charge, well it’s just too heartbreaking for words. That’s the one Elvis tune I just can’t be exposed to.”
On a visit with his family to Graceland in Memphis Tennessee a couple of years ago he finally had answered a question he’d long pondered – what was the last record on The King’s turntable at the time of his death on August 16, 1977.
“I asked our guide – we had the VIP treatment – and he answered immediately: ‘Feelings’ by Morris Albert. Elvis was trying to get the hang of it. You can imagine him doing a good job of that one, can’t you? He was made to do that one.”
Edinburgh’s performance will be the final night of the tour, but he’s not planning any after-gig party.
“I’ll be heading back home as quickly as possible and get in front of the television in my pyjamas.”
Tickets for Dr John Cooper Clarke’s performance at The Queen’s Hall in Edinburgh on Friday, November 27, are available at https://www.thequeenshall.net/book/280201.
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